26+1 Reasons You Should Never Hop to Mykonos
26+1 Reasons You Should Never Hop to Mykonos
Did you say you are going to Mykonos? But why??? Haven’t you heard Mykonos is nothing like you imagine?
1. The sun is always shining.
Imagine having to put up with all-year-round sunshine and bright blue skies? Annoying right! A bit of rain please! Just a drop!
2. Don’t let me get started on the beaches!
It’s so irritating having to choose between party hubs beaches, posh beaches, unspoilt beaches, private beaches, gay-friendly beaches, family beaches, couples beaches, and the list goes on and on! I get a headache just by thinking of it! How can you take so many choices? And the best bit-the entire coastline looks like a postcard picture! Get real right?
3. Seriously, it just floats in the middle of the Aegean.
Can you think of a worse place to be? Only glistening waters surrounding you?
4. Who wants to holiday on the corpses of giants anyway?
Didn’t you know? Legend has it Hercules fought and killed the Giants in Greek mythology and-wait for this-he threw them into the blue sea and turned them to stone. The stones formed Mykonos! Yeah right!
5. Who wants to be followed around by the island’s pet?
It’s a bird! A pelican to be exact! But really, how charming is it? It even has a name, Petros! Is that even a real name for a bird?
6. Let’s talk culture!
Excavations have shown the first civilisation to settle on the island were the Cares, then the Phoenicians, the Egyptians, the Minoans, the Ionians, the Venetians and Turks! Emmm, so what? Oh, and the oldest amphora of antiquity was found in Mykonos. They’ve even named it after the island. Seriously? Don’t know what all the fuss is about, it’s only a vase people!
7. Don’t forget Delos.
The sacred island. The island of Greek gods. The birthplace of Artemis and Apollo. The unspoilt land of ancient civilisations. Haven’t you seen statues of lions before?
8. Don’t forget the whitewashed homes!
Literally, what’s up with this Cycladic architecture? Don’t they get tired of looking at white buildings all the time? Ok, so they have colourful window panels and blossoming bougainvillea gardens I’ll give them that much.
How can an island’s landmark be 16th century Windmills? Haven’t they heard of the Eiffel Tower? Okay, I get it their old, and towering, and white, and played an important role in the locals’ livelihood. But still...please enlighten me!
10. Mykonos and romance? Pfff!
The island’s pride and joy, Little Venice! Who finds 16th century coloured buildings with balconies lingering over the blue sea romantic? Apparently this neighbourhood looks like Venice...can you see the resemblance?
11. And the sunset.
What’s so awesome about the sun dipping into the sea? The sun sets in my county too!
12. Don’t get me started on Panagia Paraportianni!
The most photographed church on the island is actually five little ones all put together! Who was their architect? Oh, wait, each one was built in different centuries.
13. Have you seen the Three Wells?
Don’t drink water from them or you will be cursed! By the end of your trip you will have gone from single to married with a local and you will suffer for the rest of your life on Mykonos.
14. How can you escape from Chora?
Wandering through Chora’s cobblestoned alleys is a mission set for disaster! You’ll get lost 100%. Take a map!
15. They call themselves islanders! Don’t they know how to relax? (picture of fishermen maybe? Or locals at a kafenio?
16. Or have a drink?
What’s this booze they call ouzo?
17. Or frappe?
The think its coffee!
18. and the Greek Coffee.
The aroma alone is enough to keep you up for days on end!
19. And to top things off, they never smile!
I thought Greeks were warm and fun-loving! Was I wrong?
20. And you will put on weight for sure!
I think locals are out to get you-can’t stand seeing someone in shape or looking good in a tiny winy bikini-they want to get you fat! Greek salad, tzantziki, dolmades, louza, kopanisti cheese, tyrovolia cheese and it goes on and on...it’s endless!
21. Don’t get me rolling on the main dishes.
Mezedes! Your table overflows with dishes it’s almost like a food invasion. And everything is fresh!
22. And the cherry on the top...dessert!
Amigdalota and melopitta! I’m telling you they are out to get us! They won’t be happy unless we look like whales!
23. The nightlife?
It never stops! The crowd seems to run on batteries-dancing, hopping, jumping, partying, singing and rewind were back to dancing, hopping, jumping, partying, singing...
24. They don’t even wait till night falls.
25. Don’t get why Hollywood stars have made it their second home.
Who would want to rub shoulders with the rich and famous anyway?
26. Glamour is sooo overrated.
Don’t you think?
27. Say goodbye to ‘beautiful’ Mykonos!
Looks fake right?
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